A BIRD

I wish I was a bird
I wish I was a bird in love

Constantly pursuing the one I adore
Repeatedly failing
My persistence would be beautiful

I wish I was a bird in love

Hello Blog

First off, i want to apologize for not using you in over a year. I never want you to feel that neglected! Secondly, i promise you i am going to start giving you more attention. I just need to get the words sorted in my brain first. You will be there first to know when i do. I love you. I'm so sorry. Until next time...

Your beloved owner,
Chris

Untitled

There’s a hallway of life between these trees. If we could only see the truth at the end of the path. Remembering the fact that their eyes won’t reach that far; they walk away. It’s their lack of faith that steers them. Do you trust in me? If you do, then let me guide you through this light dusting of clouds. I knew you would follow; you always do. Now random shadows paint the ground as we tip-toe through perfect shades of grey. As we get closer, my vision starts to fade. My eyes blurry, like a mothers standing at her sons grave. I thought I was strong enough, to handle this on my own. We always make the same mistakes. Turn if you want to leave, ill understand. I'll be your blameless culprit once again. As you twist toward the wrong route at the fork in the path; I’ll understand.
…I understand.

The Thought Of Love

words pour out
like water from fountains
free for all
to take advantage

some kill like oceans
others scratch like streams
still, no one tries
to control their own

but what, of when,
words aren’t spoken?
the calm before the storm.
the evil thoughts
the wicked views;
hidden behind expressions

putting forth smiles
filled with laughter
in order to trick
the ones they adore

well, ill take your words
over knowing your thoughts
cause I’m afraid of finding
nothing but love

I Love Poetry

I have a poetry writing class this semester and its reminded me about how much i love poetry! It also reminded me of all the psalms and the song of songs in the bible. Poetry has been such a huge factor in christian society and its a great way to worship! i hope you enjoy my stuff, comment if you have any suggestions or feelings that are created from the words!

The Door

I knock.
but no one ever answers
Sometimes I wonder
if ill ever stop this madness

I wait.
and I never know what for
I get drawn to this place and time,
its like glue to my soul
But why am I so curious
of something so unknown?

Days have gone by,
or maybe minutes;
I don’t discern
I know one thing,
that someone will answer
If they would just hurry up
I could get on with life
I could leave this retched knocking
and fill my sore ears
With music made
that only the angels
could enjoy

That’s it, I’m done,
I’ve had enough of this today
Change of pace is what I need
to fix my bleeding hands
Not too much though,
for upon healing its back I go
To this old door
that’s haunted my life
for years gone by
But soon someone will answer,
and then it will reward

Choir Of The Broken!!!

Choir Of The Broken!!! We are finally having a concert here in town and i am supper excited about playing in front of all my friends. My feelings are a little torn though; and its because i am a perfectionist. Part of me doesn't care about how many people show up, because as long as there is one person there worshiping the Lord with all their heart, then my job is complete. But there is that other side of me that cant help but feel like i am a failure if there isn't more people then i expect to be there. The more i think about it though, the more this applies to every part of my life. I think about all the things i have done in the past years, and all the people that i have met. Either through YoungLife, or just meeting new people on the campus of my school. I know because of my own selfishness that i have lost a lot of chances to show people how much i love the Lord. And be able to share the word with them. This time though i am going to be strong. No matter who shows up, no matter how many people are there, i'm going to be in control of my feelings, and give back to the Lord everything that he has given back to me. He has blessed me with the amazing talent of playing the drums, and i will praise him with all that i am for that.

Thank you Lord, for you are good....

http://www.myspace.com/choirofthebroken

Life Is Great

Today was one of those lazy days for me. Even though so much happened, I let it slip right past me and before I knew it, the day was over. Do you ever let that happen to you? Any way’s; Even with all the stuff going on though out the day, I had this feeling, deep inside my gut. It’s kind of a nauseous feeling, but I know that I’m not sick. It always happens to me on days when I am just beat, and I decide to do absolutely nothing but be lazy. I don’t know why its there, or what its there for. All I do know for sure is that when I let life slip by and be lazy for a day, it comes. I’ve been thinking all night about this “feeling”, and about all my decisions I made today concerning my actions and my thoughts. See; I love to ask questions. And I believe that all followers of Jesus Christ should be asking question after question, day after day. Questions are good. They are not scary. What is scary are people who don’t have any. And like Rob Bell says, “what is tragic is faith that has no room for them”. The reason why questions are so beautiful is that they give us freedom. Freedom that I don’t have to be God and I don’t have to pretend that I have it all figured out. I can let God be God. Remember that “when everything gets answered its fake. The mystery is the truth.” – Sean Penn. I am not afraid to ask questions, and I was asking them all night long. I started to think about everything I’ve been learning in the past few months. I thought about everything from getting in tune with perfect reality, to learning how to spend my quite time. And just then it hit me like a ton of bricks; a slap from Jesus if you will. I asked myself this one question, “What have we been grateful for today?”

WOW. How could I have been so blind? Just realizing all the amazing things God as put in my life today, and I just looked right past everything. Even the little things that occur everyday; but I never think of them. Why don’t we go through my day together so we can both see how stinkin’ blessed I am (and I’m not trying to brag. Most of us in America are guilty of blindness towards our blessings. It just feels really good to start realizing your own.).

Here’s a short list of things that went on in Chris Ward’s life today….

1). Woke up with two of my best friends. (Yes, we had a sleep over)
2). My sister came down from Anthem for the day to hang out with me.
3). I got to play amazing, glorifying, and really loud worship for my church.
4). I got to hand out with a group of my best friends after church.
5). I went swimming with everyone from church and with all my roommates. (We love to jump off the roof. And for all my Oregonian friends back home, yes it’s March 12th and I’m already swimming.)
6). Went to practice for a big Easter recital at my church. (Recital isn’t always a great word that makes you feel excited about anything, but I got to play the drums. And not matter where, when, or for what; if I’m playing the drums, I’m content.)
7). Hung out and relaxed, played ping-pong, shot some pool, watched movies, played video games, and took a nice nap.

What a day! And there is so much more that I am thankful for. But when I was going over this list I was thinking about a lot more things. I started to ask even more questions. Doesn’t this look like the typical American list of blessings to be thankful for? It’s always a list of everything that we DON’T take for granite. What about all those small things that happen every day of our life. See we have convinced our selves that they are going to be there tomorrow. But isnt that just defying God? Isn't our confidence of what will come tomorrow kind of an open invitation for God to come and take it away? THANK GOD for a roof over my head. THANK YOU JESUS for shoes on my feet and something in my stomach. Aren’t these just as much, if not more of a blessing then the list above? I don’t know though, you tell me what is more important; a swimming pool or food in my stomach? A drum set or a roof over my head? Everyday I look past these things because I always think of them as these little blessings. Just like everyone else, i look past them beause i am confident that they will be there tomorrow. But who am I to test God’s power? How do I know for certain that all these things will be there tomorrow? I don’t; and neither does anyone else on this planet. But now I do know to thank God for everything I have, while I have it. Even those little things in life. My shoes, my shirts, my jeans, my toothbrush, my running water, my crappy old car, my cellphone. How could i have ever been so selfish? Think about your life, and your blessings. What are you thankful for; and what should you be thankful for?

It’s kind of funny though, now that I understand; because that feeling I had in my stomach all day, just seemed to disappear……

Remember to keep asking those questions.... they will help you grow.

.......thank you Jesus.........